Pace yourself, Nano!

“Tia Elvira, my estomach hurts,” cried Nano, as he continued to devour the homemade flour tortillas. With the perfect amount of fluff, and perhaps a bit too much butter, he just couldn’t resist the rich taste of his aunt’s divine creation.

“Aye, Nano. Don’t eat too many tortillas, estupid,” she responded in comforting Texas Spanglish.

While this scene may seem all too familiar to some, and completely out of context to most, it does have a point. Nano represents my id, his aunt, Elvira, my superego, and the buttery Mexican-American staple, the topic of my blog post.

My entry today will be about the famed 宴会（えんかい , or enkai ). Now, the word enkai literally translates to banquet. The first image that pops into my head is an event from a school sports team, perhaps even a social club function. Either way, when I hear “banquet”  I think of two things:

1) Boring speeches where the listeners couldn’t care less about what’s being said, and

2) A generic pre-set menu with bland food that’s mediocre at best. You know: Maybe a dry chicken leg quarter with some rice pilaf, rubbery broccoli, and a rock-hard dinner roll. Oh yeah, don’t forget the two goblets filled with dirty-lemon water and weak iced tea. For dessert, we will be serving up Chinese buffet quality cheesecake with a cup of coffee: regular or decaf, and don’t even think about being able to fit your finger through that microscopic coffee cup handle. It ain’t gone’ happen.

Yes. Banquet food falls somewhere on the spectrum between the buffet on a cruise ship’s lido deck, and the obligatory meal one would eat after a funeral at the repast. Anyway, I digress. Moving on to the main subject of the blog:

I truly believe the word “banquet” is not an accurate term for an enkai. It’s more like a dinner party minus the uppity pretentiousness that comes with calling it a “dinner party.”  Recently, I went to an enkai with my caretaker teacher and other staff members of my base school, and the experience at one of these parties is worth sharing.

The party planning starts out with making transportation arrangements. Depending on how late you stay out, you can either take the train, or have a designated driver. Once this is decided, you must then choose a location. It usually takes place at an 居酒屋（いざかや, or izakaya), which is a drinking establishment with a full bar and a food menu.

Our enkai took place at an izakaya in Matsumoto, like many social events. We walked in and were greeted by one of the staff members. We were then taken to a private room for our party. Of course, this is japan, so our satobaki weren't allowed on the soft tatami flooring. Word to the wise: make sure you always have matching socks that are clean and without holes, besides the giant hole at the top where your foot enters the sock, of course.

Can you guess my shoes? Hint: If you've met me within the past eight years, you would probably recognize them...

The enkai traditionally starts out with a beer toast. “Kanpai!” we exclaimed together as the night was kicked off with clinking of glasses. Now, you may be surprised to hear this, but the Japanese drink selection at an izakaya is not weird or exotic. It is very similar to that of a sports bar in the United States. They serve:

- Lots of styles of beer, both foreign and domestic, although it is weird seeing budweiser as a foreign beer

- A limited wine selection- They usually have one one red, one white, and maybe a blush or dessert wine

-Sake, of course. It is Japan, after all.

-Highballs, martinis, mixed drinks, etc- These are very similar to their western counterparts: You can get a whiskey and coke, a martini-extra dry and dirty, a gin and juice, whatever you want, they probably have.

The group before the first kanpai.

One thing to note, is that it is customary for one to not pour their own beer, but rather pour the beer for others. If you would like a refill, simply allow your glass to get empty, and you’ll have one of your colleagues at the table filling up your glass as though they were waiting on you.

In the United States, drinking with fellow staff members can be a slippery slope.You can have one too many drinks, and that would lead to a huge chain reaction of consequences. For example, you can get drunk as a skunk and accidentally confess your desires to be with someone, or you could get so drunk that you could be stumbling around and slurring your words left and right. In the United States, that would leave you the talk of the water cooler for quite some time. You don’t believe me, ask me about an unnamed staff member’s shining moments on a faculty trip to the casino. The kicker is- I wasn’t even there, and I still know the dirty deets.

Here in Japan, drunkenness amongst employees is not taboo. Dare I say, it’s encouraged. Being a part of the collectivist mentality that is so prevalent on this side of the world, getting drunk with your co-workers and or supervisor is seen as something that is supposed to bring the group closer together. It’s the Las Vegas Tourism Bureau mantra: What happens at an enkai, stays at an enkai. Inner feelings, desires, and general intoxicated shenanigans are staples. Generally, the Japanese have a way of forgiving and forgetting what happened at a drinking party.

Of course, I didn’t allow myself to get intoxicated: partly because I can’t really handle my alcohol, and partly because I didn’t want to be drunk in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language. God forbid an earthquake or some other catastrophic event were to happen. I like having my wits about me. This wasn’t a problem either. If at any given time, you don’t feel like drinking any more alcohol, you can do one of two things.

1) Leave your beer glass full. This will nonverbally signal that you’re slowing down, or don’t want to drink anymore. You can even use this method to “Pace yourself, Nano.” Maybe you want to have a glass of water in between beers, or maybe you want to switch to non alcoholic beverages.

2) You can also simply place your hand over your glass and say “I’m okay” in Japanese when someone offers to pour your beer. This means exactly what you think it means. “No thank you. I’m not craving any drinks right now. Maybe later, maybe not.”

I really appreciate the manners that are customary at an enkai. Although co-workers are encouraged to drink and let loose in front of each other, it is also seen as rude to force someone or coerce someone into drinking when they either have reached their limit or choose not to. In fact, there are people who go to the enkai that don’t drink alcohol at all. Whether it’s for personal reasons, or because they are the designated driver. Since I’m not a big drinker, I never felt pressured to drink any more than I wanted to, and that makes me happy. There are few things I hate more than feeling like I’m being given flack for not drinking enough. Where does the conflict between the id and superego come into play, you ask: the vittles.

Perhaps my favorite part of an enkai is the spread of food. This is where I have to really watch myself and exercise self control. The food at these things is so tasty. Imagine having a few drinks at your favorite sports bar, say Hooters, or Buffalo Wild Wings. Just when you’re feeling a nice buzz and hunger starts to rear its ugly head, a cute waiter/waitress brings you a fresh order of bar food. In America, it’d be a yummy quesadilla, maybe some hot wings, or some jalapeno poppers... or one of the two hundred thirty six different names that Pinterest has for the same damn dish- poppers, bombers, nummers, kickers, the list goes on and on.

In Japan, it’s no different. Below are a few pictures of what foods went into my stomach at my first enkai:

Fresh cucumber with chile sauce 

Single serving from BABOR (Big-ass Bowl of Ramen)

Rare fish

"Caesar" salad with bacon, steak fries, cheese sticks, fried chicken

Settling up at the end of the night is also a bit different than in The States. It’s almost always the case that the check is split evenly amongst the group. Even if you didn’t eat or drink much, or on the opposite end, ate and drank your weight, everyone pays the same. This may not be the most fair way to pay up, but it is what it is. You can take it or leave it.

The group after the party...

So, to summarize, a night out with co workers in Japan is very similar to a night out with friends back home: Lots of good food and drinks, laughter, and tons of memories that could potentially stick with you for years to come. I really appreciate my life in Japan, but I also have fond memories of friends and family stateside. “Kanpai and Cheers”

Sayonara party at Genji -Not pictured: Joe Merry- He's taking the picture...

Nevermind. Here he is with a random Asian man who popped in...